


Territory of None

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Cultists, Established Relationship, Horizon Zero Dawn AU, M/M, dubcon content, machine lore, sex in a dangerous situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 11:52:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17022117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It’s puzzling, Baekhyun thinks, as he descends the staircase following Kyungsoo, how it can feel even lonelier to be with someone than to be alone.





	Territory of None

**Author's Note:**

> this is a three-shot fic set in the post-apocalyptic world of the game  **horizon: zero dawn** _(cinematic trailer:_ _[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=128&v=5KGoFScxFCM)_ _/ launch trailer:_ _[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=169&v=wzx96gYA8ek)_ _)._ people live in primitive tribal societies and either avoid or hunt the unknown machines that dominate the earth.
> 
>  _ **autassassinophilia:**_  arousal at the risk or thought of being killed
> 
> soundtrack: [a truth whispered at night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh8Nz5ZWWyA) by joris de man  
> [the world and all its lessons by joris de man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbqQg-9M5mA)  
> and  
> [machine dreams by joris de man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FabqlLyiau0)
> 
> ⋘ means it's a flashback, while ⋙ stands for present time.
> 
> remark that there’s a long scene with slight dub-con that carries the core of the story that’s difficult to explain without the context known or revealed beforehand.
> 
> viewer discretion is advised.

 

⋘

 

 ‘’The High Matriarchs say I can’t talk to you,’’ Kyungsoo’s voice remains strictly civilized as he stares at the leaves of a silver birch tree swaying in the breeze.

‘’Why not?’’ a boy of similar age scoffs. ‘’We’re talking right now,’’ he reasons and leans into Kyungsoo’s line of sight so that Kyungsoo’s eyes turn to the sky.

‘’They say you’re an outcast.’’

‘’An outcast? What’s that?’’

‘’Means… you’re not a part of our people. You’re a stranger. Seungsoo says I can’t talk to strangers.’’

‘’ _Hm-m_. Do you know why they don’t want us, then?’’

‘’Us?’’ Kyungsoo momentarily looks down at the boy and then promptly away due to the deep brown eyes that seem, even in the gist of a second, to stare into his core, as if they know he’s been slacking and eating most of the blackberries instead of putting them in the basket.

‘’Me and my mom.’’

‘’I don’t… know. I don’t know.’’

‘’Can you ask them?’’

‘’But then they’d know I’d talked to you…’’

‘’ _Please?_ I’ll make you a bracelet if you do.’’

‘’Bracelet?’’

‘’Like this one. Mom taught me how to braid them. Isn’t it pretty?’’ the boy displays the underside of his wrist, jiggling a braided leather rope bound there with daisies weaved into its holes.

‘’I guess…’’

‘’Do you want it?’’

Kyungsoo stares at his feet, clutching the basket to his side. ‘’We’re not supposed to talk,’’ he reminds himself. ‘’Go, before Grete sees you.’’

‘’You don’t have to ask them right now. I’ll give you the bracelet for free.’’ The warnings bounce off easily.

He doesn’t get to choose; the bracelet’s swiftly crumpled into one of his clammy palms.

 ‘’That means we’re friends,’’ the boy announces.

‘’Friends?’’ Kyungsoo’s chest churns, and the muscles in his face shift between two alternating moods, a smile and a frown.

‘’What’s your name?’’ the boy then asks, approaching Kyungsoo until he’s backed up against another birch tree.

‘’I can’t tell you.’’

‘’Come _on!_ Friends need to know each other’s names!’’

‘’You haven’t had a naming ceremony, have you?’’ Kyungsoo wonders aloud.

‘’Naming ceremony?’’

‘’To have… to have one of the High Matriarchs oversee you before the valley…?’’

‘’My mom named me, isn’t that enough? I’m Baekhyun!’’

The basket rolls around their feet, and the boy’s face is close -

He’s missing two milk teeth, his eyes are down-turned at the corners and look like they were made to be sad, but his smile’s wide, bright and somewhat feral.

‘’Kyungsoo...’’

‘’What?’’ Baekhyun asks.

‘’My name’s Kyungsoo.’’

 ‘’Kyungsoo,’’ he repeats,

‘’ - we’re friends now, okay?’’ his breath smells of blackberries too.

 

⋙

 

‘’It’s so quiet,’’ Baekhyun notes, awestruck.

Kyungsoo trails behind him, even quieter than the place, only his feet going through the terse grass making noise.

Baekhyun looks over his shoulder and back at his fellow hunter, ‘’what’dya think some of these obstacles used to represent?’’

‘’One thing’s certain; I don’t think the herd went this way,’’ Kyungsoo answers, tone telling.

They were supposed to head to a Bellowback and Grazer machine site to get Blaze samples and single out Grazers in packs specifically, looking for the cans stitched on their backs. With Baekhyun persistently beckoning Kyungsoo further into the growth of the forest, they’ve gone off-track and stumbled upon a wasteland instead.

The temperature’s warm and musty here compared to the rest of the Sacred land. Though within Nora grounds, they’re far away from known territory in a domain they shouldn’t be in with only the company of two.

‘’You scared, is that it?’’ Baekhyun smiles suggestively.

Kyungsoo’s eyes that have been tracking one of the massive craters go back to grant Baekhyun a bored stare.

Contrarily, it’s Baekhyun who halts so that Kyungsoo stumbles into his back when a loud, resounding crash travels in the area.

Probably some of the remaining structures dissolving to the ground, creating a small wind pressure that tugs at their clothes.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything, but he passes Baekhyun with the same stare.

‘’I’m not scared,’’ Baekhyun defends, gathering himself and following Kyungsoo’s heels.

‘’ - though this place matches the location Junmyeon told me a travelling merchant had sighted what they’ve named _corrupted machines_ ,’’ he continues, hands passionately empathizing the incredulity.

‘’Corrupted machines?’’ Kyungsoo inquires, back still turned and eyes set forward.

‘’Unusually aggressive machines controlled by bandits, they believe. Even _Grazers_ become full of ill intent. The corruption’s supposed to eat the machines and make them discharge red smoke -’’

‘’Wait,’’ Baekhyun stops his own train of thought midway, quickening his gait to walk next to Kyungsoo, ‘’that means- this is the place where they- where they found Kunwoo and Shala-‘’

‘’Strewn into pieces in one of the ruins,’’ Kyungsoo finishes for him.

Baekhyun stops. ‘’This is **_Devil’s Grief_**?’’ he realizes.

‘’The way you described it makes it sound like it,’’ Kyungsoo stops as well to inspect the site. ‘’When I look at the map, this place isn’t covered, but the Longroam is covered in the North. So, this is one of the undiscovered areas between Mother’s Crown and Longroam.’’

Baekhyun starts looking uneasy.

‘’You know, maybe we shouldn’t be here.’’

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother stating the fact that it’s Baekhyun who’s dragged the both of them here, prone to detours.

He continues walking.

‘’People have _died_ here,’’ Baekhyun catches up with Kyungsoo again, hand on his shoulder, ‘’and if Junmyeon’s right, then-‘’

To Baekhyun’s surprise, Kyungsoo slaps his hand off and turns around to enter his personal space, their faces close -  

‘’Don’t fool me. You’d be climbing the ruins in the heart of this place by now had _**I**_ not been the one who volunteered to collect resources with you.’’

Baekhyun’s mouth opens and closes. He says nothing and avoids Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Expecting that reaction, Kyungsoo scoffs and lets the silence eat the rest.

He adjusts the strap on his bag and his grasp on the handle of his spear, turning to lead the way, even if only for the moment.

 

They follow the leftovers of a road where ruins stretch out on either side, heading through the opening of a constellation to avoid the rest of the path that turns into a swamp with water-lilies and algae in the water, and moss growing up rusted poles.

Field crickets start buzzing, and once in a while they pause temporarily at the sound of another crash, sometimes a long-winded howl that might either belong to imaginary machinery or another collision.

Sundown’s nearing, the sky blending with mellow nuances on the horizon and vision decreasing at distance. A thin veil of mist starts creeping along the sides of the buildings.

Putting at least one Grazer down before darkness falls means they have to head back and single it out fast, since waiting takes up most of the hunting.

At this rate, they won’t even make it back to their camp before the stars break out. It’s common knowledge that nighttime's only to the machine's advantage.

Baekhyun grunts, smacking his shoulders alternately and shaking his body, ‘’these mosquitos drive me to the brink of-‘’

 _‘’Quiet,’’_ Kyungsoo interrupts him, pulling him back into the cover of a fallen construction.

‘’What is it?’’ Baekhyun half-whispers.

Kyungsoo pinches the underside of his arm to silence him and points at something ahead.

A camp but not quite, standing before a taller framework, several boxes surrounding it and barrels glowing dots of green.

They’re crouching, surveying the area for any living creatures in hiding.

It’s been disturbingly long since they last saw any machines loitering around. Not even the docile ones like the skittish Lancehorns that roamed freely before they entered the ruins; busy grinding their corkscrewed horns into the ground to channel soil up into their gaps for processing and mining of minerals.

The thick growth of the forest makes it appear eventful here even when desolate of both machine and animal life, as if protected by a barrier of its own that they might disturb if they enter.

‘’This place gives me chills. It’s so…’’ Baekhyun shivers.

‘’Vacant?’’ Kyungsoo suggests.

‘’Haunted.’’

The fading sun throws its last pink hues over the camp and makes it look sinister and welcoming at the same time, illuminating the ruins in the background, bricks glowing red.

‘’Wait-’’ Kyungsoo grabs Baekhyun by the arm, who shakes him off and slips out of reach, shoulders hunched forward, foreign, and eyes set on the camp.

Kyungsoo sighs. In the end, he’s right by Baekhyun’s heels.

‘’Bandits,’’ Baekhyun says immediately, jumping onto the porch.

There’s a ramshackle alcove with a couple of beds and an awning covering it, and another on the left with boxes and supply crates under it containing ridge-wood, metal shards, two fox skins and a bunch of turkey bones.

In the meantime, Kyungsoo pokes his spear at a pile of ancient debris beside the porch that the bandits must’ve collected. His eye catches one item in particular.

It’s a vessel, the kind that Baekhyun likes.

A piece of its edge has been chipped off, and on the back of it, foreign and faded letters are spelled out - _‘HER’S A CUP   CALM THE F CK DOW’_.

Kyungsoo can’t read it, but he puts it in his bag anyway, and finds another equally unreadable vessel with _‘I SURI D ANOTHER M  TING THA SHOULD’VE B EN AN EMAIL’_ spelled on it.

He might be able to trade it in Mother’s Heart for a reward from one of the curious, travelling merchants this summer, in case Baekhyun doesn’t snatch it first.

These remains are usually used in sets as a part of a sacred beard-shaving ritual, with each vessel carrying a different substance - either water, lotion or olive-oil. Baekhyun tends to fill them with the teeth of animals, machines and humans, seeing as he finds comfort in the sound of rattling them.

About to search for other collectibles, Kyungsoo perks up at Baekhyun waving him over.

‘’What is it?’’ he joins him on the porch.

Baekhyun picks up a white, cracked piece. He holds it in front of his face, illustrating a mask with horns and gouged eye holes for the user to see through.

‘’I knew it. This camp belongs to cultists,’’ he says. ‘’Bandits don’t wear these.’’

‘’Cultists? Where’d you-‘’

‘’Junmyeon, again.’’

‘’You believe the tales of a rumored visionary now?’’

Baekhyun’s never been a believer in All-Mother, the fertility goddess, or the high matriarchs that the Nora worship, and he’s usually not prone to fall for wander-stories either.

His fingers stray over the chip on his ear, an old-world device he found in a cave as a kid that provides focus scan ability. It shows a machine’s weakness and the weapons they’re equipped with, as well as the components they’re constructed from.

It gives an immeasurable assistance in the wild, since, as it seems, all machines are limited to a patrol-route that the device can highlight, thus making it easier to avoid or predict them.

Only Kyungsoo knows of its existence - a believer of the spiritual, but only half-heartedly.

‘’Junmyeon’s a Seeker,’’ Baekhyun argues. ‘’That’s got nothing to do with the spirits. He’s been in the Tainted Lands, the _real_ deal. He knows more than any of us Nora with all our regulations ever will and our mystifications.’’

‘’If you say so,’’ Kyungsoo shrugs. ‘’Just don’t get ahead of yourself.’’

Before Baekhyun can answer, Kyungsoo returns to the aforementioned subject, eyeing the mask.

‘’These cultists…,’’ he trails off.

‘’The cultists are called the Eclipse, apparently,’’ Baekhyun explains. ‘’I called them bandits earlier, but it’s deeper than that. They awaken ancient machines that tormented the earth. Junmyeon claims that The End is near.’’

Kyungsoo looks around. ‘’You don’t think they’re still here, do you?’’

‘’They’re in the area.’’

‘’How can you tell?’’

Baekhyun pokes his foot at one of the crates so that the lid that he’d cracked open with his dagger earlier falls off. It reveals a bunch of bread, fresh apples and pouches with different herbs. He pokes another crate that contains salted meat.

He hovers the dagger to the other side where he points it at a metal object hidden underneath the alcove. A death-bringer. Junmyeon’s talked about it before, that in use they can fire off hundreds of projectiles in a minute and kill masses.

Far more than a decently sized army with bows and arrows are able to.

At last, he points to an unlit torch. ‘’They’ve been lit recently,’’ and he explains how.

Kyungsoo nods and surveys the area again, as does Baekhyun.

They could carry the death-bringer with them to inspect it and scrutinize its components. Lest they’d stumble into any of the cultists, it’d be to their own favor to have unarmed the enemy beforehand.

Baekhyun heads to the other end of the porch though, stopping before one of the barrels.

Globs of Blaze liquid ooze slowly from its sides, green and poisonous, poorly contained.

They’re weeks of travelling away from their home village to gather exactly this material as a primary ingredient for the crafting of fire ammunition types and to discover more machine sites where the resources are plentiful.

He’s never seen Blaze with such a semblance. How’d they channel it up this condensed?

Mind fluctuating, he reaches out -

Breath hitching as his hand’s grabbed, wrist held in a vice.

‘’Don’t touch it,’’ Kyungsoo interferes. ‘’This stuff’s reinforced and even more flammable than the cans we get from Grazers. If you insist on keeping this little adventure of yours up, you’d best come back with your hands whole.’’

Baekhyun pulls his hand back. ‘’I know that, I wasn’t gonna…’’

‘’Course not. So, stop wasting our time. It’s getting dark - I’ve seen enough for today.’’

He scowls at Kyungsoo’s back as Kyungsoo descends the stairs.

For the entirety of the trip, Kyungsoo’s been like this.

Not unwilling to cooperate, but moody and acting as if all they have between them is under strict surveillance and restrictions.

Something changed in his behavior toward Baekhyun the day they were assigned, and even before that. But it’s not like Kyungsoo initially wanted this task, and although he knows Baekhyun’s a meddler, he raised his hand the fastest when Baekhyun offered to volunteer.

It’s puzzling, Baekhyun thinks, as he descends the staircase following Kyungsoo, how it can feel even lonelier to be with someone than to be alone.

In the tribe, he can make the villagers laugh. He can bend and snap his limbs doing favors for them to pretend he doesn’t pollute the air they breathe.

Yet, they could succumb to illness, and though he would ready their grave, perform the required rituals and pray to a higher cause for their journey beyond, he wouldn’t savor the spot they occupied nor mourn the loss.

Working on his own is a thing he’s used to, even when he’s on patrol with other Braves, despite understanding the mechanics of teamwork, its importance and adhering to it.

Although he’ll work diligently with these teams, especially during centered hunts, it’s different in the sense that with no personal strings attached, there’s only the spike of neutral pain at the thought of danger. A simple fright, even when some don’t return; the instinctive knee-jerk reaction that’s called for.

It's addictive, even if it hurts on occasions, especially in the heat of the moment when your blood’s roaring.

It can be intense, even for Baekhyun, since you’ll temporarily care about a face you’ve never seen before in the moment you see it wrench and hear their voice cry out - the desperate creases around their mouth, the sweat lathering their skin and their eyes bulging in terror.

That’s what being human is like, people say.

Life’s valuable, they say.

And for all the value they claim it has, no one was present when the resources were few and his mom needed it the most.

Kyungsoo’s one of the few who brings a pain that Baekhyun can say he fears.

That he can say he’s never wanted in the first place or expected to.

It comes around.

It haunts him more than a life among faceless people ever will.

 

A tickle under his collar has his shoulders hunching, making him erupt a startled gasp.

Kyungsoo takes a step back with a bundle of red grass in his hand. Baekhyun didn’t even hear him pluck it.

‘’What was ** _that_** for?’’ Baekhyun demands, body on high alert.

‘’You were spacing out,’’ Kyungsoo says. ‘’Should’ve seen your face.’’

He laughs.

And the tension seeps out of Baekhyun’s shoulders as fast as it came. His neck tingles, fingertips too, and his cheeks prickle with embarrassment, but he doesn’t complain.

It’s the first time Kyungsoo’s smiled since they left Mother’s Heart.

Baekhyun doesn’t join him.

Kyungsoo’s laughter dies down, and they stare at each other long, tense.

Standing at an angle where a ray reaches him just so, Kyungsoo’s face glows like the bricks and barrels do, before the night will start swallowing him whole.

His pigment’s been smeared, blue face-paint faded over his left cheek instead of curving in neat lines. Some of his hair has escaped the bun on the back, the sides shaved.

Baekhyun doesn’t think twice.

He steps forward till their noses touch. From the lack of distance, Kyungsoo’s pupils start swallowing the brown in his eyes. He doesn’t move, and his breath’s warm - _alive_ \-  across Baekhyun’s lips.

His mouth’s dry, but he eventually kisses back, a light pressure at first, easing out a soundless sigh when Baekhyun licks him. Opens, when Baekhyun aligns their mouths and nips at him.

As their tongues meet and Baekhyun moans, Kyungsoo grabs his arm, _hard_ ; the smack of their lips filling the silence.

 _“Mh,’’_ Baekhyun leans into him so their chests bump, accidentally using a bit of teeth in the kiss from getting eager, disrupted by Kyungsoo sucking gently on his tongue, a deep hum from his throat commencing.

Baekhyun realizes, belatedly, how much he’s been craving.

How badly he’s been starving.

Back in time, way back in time, there were both nights and days where Kyungsoo let Baekhyun have his way with him. In the forests, in the mountains, on patrol, alone or close to the public. Wherever he pleased when they were together, however he wanted.

Those times gradually came to a halt.

They’ve done it few times in the past months, but only at night and from Baekhyun requesting, never the other way around.

This Kyungsoo _takes_.

He cradles the back of Baekhyun’s head, hard enough for it to hurt, keeping him in check by his ponytail, and starts kissing him deep.

Instead of groaning at the pain, Baekhyun indulges in it. A fire in his chest burns, as much as it always will. The same pressure hurts his ribcage and lungs, stronger than it ever has.

Just when he thinks he’s got it, when he’s finally reached Kyungsoo, and they resonate on the same wavelength -

The shrill sound of an unknown machine slices through the air and rips them apart.

Its sheer volume tells enough; this is lethal, followed by the low mutter of humans conversing.

 

 ** _‘’This way,’’_** Kyungsoo rasps, a feral look to him. Baekhyun follows, mirroring him.

The first speckles of stars have started appearing in the sky, and the temperature’s dropped even if it’s still uncomfortably warm with the fur they’re wearing suited for a colder climate.

Despite the fog slowing Baekhyun’s sense of reality, his body knows what to do.

Everything’s simultaneously loud and eerie, wind whooshing in his ears and his throat aching.

To keep the bag from rattling, Kyungsoo holds it close to his abdomen, even when they jump over blocks of stone and he falls and hurts his knees in another pile of debris.

Baekhyun fell earlier as well; they take turns helping each other up on their feet.

Though their bodies are separate, at times like these, they work in tandem.

They run as quick as they can away from the camp and in the other direction of where the noise came from, swamp splashing around them as they head to one of the bigger constellations that towers over the majority of the other buildings, a place to find proper cover and routes to scatter if necessary.

Kyungsoo grabs Baekhyun by the belt and yanks him behind a wall when they reach the opening, the both of them scrambling on the ground.

Once settled, Kyungsoo sits with his back against the wall, and Baekhyun with his back against Kyungsoo’s chest plate. Baekhyun’s pouch with arrows and his bow get caught between them momentarily, then wiggled off and propped to the side with Kyungsoo’s bag.

They catch their breath. Baekhyun picks two arrows and readies his bow, rustling.

Kyungsoo’s spear resides beside them, but he’s got a firm grip on its handle.

Baekhyun moves to the side to look past the wall, activating his chip and scanning the area.

The first ten minutes yield a painful nothing since the scanner only reaches a certain radius the wielder resides in.

Finally, purple pixels materialize in the form of three humans walking in the clearing through the darkness that’ve started engulfing the site.

What comes next takes Baekhyun’s breath away.

A Sawtooth machine trotting behind them, Baekhyun’s scanner enhancing its mechanic, idle growl and the heavy _tha-thonk-thathonk, tha-thonk-thathonk_ of its beastly paws leaving prints in the earth to the point he has to turn the scanner off to keep his composure.

 _‘’What do you see?’’_ Kyungsoo whispers.

 _‘’Three humans,’’_ Baekhyun whispers, _’’and a Sawtooth.’’_

_‘’In their control?’’_

_‘’In their control, yeah.’’_

They both peek around the corner to have another look. As it is, Junmyeon’s words appear to be true.

The first glimpse of moonlight reflects in the morass and bathes over the ruins in the strip it’s able to reach, boosting the intensity of the shadows of the buildings surrounding it.

Red, vibrant smoke can be seen foaming off the machine’s form, outlined by strings. The flashlights and power-cell on its head guide the path ahead as it prowls behind the humans, seven times bigger in size, guarding them.

It doesn’t have a pre-destined route. Rather, it walks freely.

 _‘’By All-Mother’s might…’’_ Baekhyun closes his eyes, clutching at his bow and thinking of options.

Kyungsoo remains silent.

In fact, his breath’s practiced - long and steady.

Baekhyun blinks when he feels a palm on his thigh, the one Kyungsoo isn’t using to wield the spear.

Kyungsoo, who’s still staring out at the field with what he can manage from his position, and whose face’s half-illuminated in the range of the moonlight.

 _‘’What’re you doing?’’_ Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo doesn’t respond.

His eyes keep tracking the group of humans scuffling in the muddy area before the swamp.

Despite the steadfast facade, his attention lingers elsewhere, palm cradling the middle of Baekhyun’s thigh, grazing the inner-side with a thumb over the fabric, the touch firm.

Soothing, almost.

About to ask again, Baekhyun flinches at the sudden clash coming from the other direction of the group.

Another Sawtooth they hadn’t noticed, paws gnashing the branch of a sunken tree into the rubbles of a stone block beneath.

This one’s route stretches out further, since it’s allowed to walk at a distance from the cultists. How far is unknown, because when Baekhyun turns the scanner on again, it says a route can’t be highlighted.

Sawtooths are the biggest and most aggressive of the predatory machines in the Sacred Lands. They’re limited in number, but the amount of Nora they’ve mauled after sundown is uncountable, having terrorized the smaller villages for ages.

To think they can be manipulated and used as domestic pets…

One hasty movement or a sound too loud, and they’re done for.

Something’s off, though.

Something’s very off.

Judging by Kyungsoo’s detached, slow reaction to the second Sawtooth and the way his face changes: the veil over his eyes, an impeding fever - the frown of his brows, the gnashing of his teeth and a tick at the corner of his mouth. Not quite shaken off the high of the moment they shared before they were interrupted, mixed with the adrenaline from terror and combat.

At once, Baekhyun knows what this might lead to without having the slightest clue of what it’ll entail, and that it’s caught up to him too late for him to do any damage control.

What’s telling is the skip in his chest, his heart dropping to his stomach and a cold front climbing to his throat at a single clue.

Then, the contradicting telltale spark of arousal in his gut, of _excitement_ and a forest fire eating away down below, as if he’s been conditioned to link two and two together, to which his body responds with primal urge.

The hand massages his thigh, digging.

It doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye.

No, in this moment, Kyungsoo’s decided he’s got all the time he needs in the world.

Turning his head, his eyes are merely black holes in a cranium from this angle, shuffling the both of them away from the opening till they’re better hidden by the wall and away from the moonlight.

‘’Ky’soo,’’ Baekhyun forgets to stand his ground, voice wavering, ‘’there’s… ano- anoth-‘’ he double-takes as Kyungsoo closes in on the side of his neck, hair on end as they slide down the wall into the sitting position they started in. Baekhyun between Kyungsoo’s legs, back against his chest.

Each breath of air smolders. ‘’I know,’’ Kyungsoo says, mouthing each word into the skin after a pause.

When that’s not enough, he yanks Baekhyun’s ponytail back with a fist to make him expose the canvas of his throat, receiving a strangled grunt in return.

Wet, open-mouthed kisses scatter up to the skin beneath Baekhyun’s ear, and a special hypersensitivity kick-starts in his limbs, having his free hand clawing at the moss, and his other barely at his bow, arrows deserted.

‘’If they hear us-‘’

‘’You’d die. Right here in my arms.’’

⋘

 

 

‘’Where’s your mom?’’ Baekhyun asks, trying to step on Kyungsoo’s heels to get a rise out of him.

Over time, Kyungsoo’s gotten used to heading outside the village’s boundaries and hearing footsteps soon puttering behind him, followed by a nosy row of questions. He merely carries on, basket tucked on his hip and in his arm, glancing back once in a while.

He’ll get scolded later on for going out by himself again; the one mysterious way other than picking up strays in which he’ll breach the laws despite his dutiful nods and eyes.

They’ll forgive him eventually, since he’s better at combat and more patient than most peers his age.

‘’Mother? She’s not here,’’ he answers offhandedly, plucking at a sharp husk between the grass, cracking it open to look at the nuts segmented together

Baekhyun stares over his shoulder, tiptoeing. ‘’Where is she then?’’

‘’Gone.’’

‘’You’re a no-mother, then.’’

Kyungsoo halts midway, basket on the ground and torso turned with the look he sends.

‘’What?’’ Baekhyun flinches. His voice’s genuine and without spite. ‘’Aren’t you?’’

Kyungsoo’s shoulders drop. He dusts the husk off and turns his back again, silent.

‘’Where’s your father, then?’’ Baekhyun picks up where the trail left him.

‘’He’s also gone,’’ Kyungsoo finally replies.

‘’Did they both leave?’’

He strokes his thumb over the shell and its spikes. ‘’Hunting.’’

‘’How long ago?’’ Baekhyun settles next to him, poking at the chestnut too, their elbows briefly touching.

‘’I don’t remember,’’ Kyungsoo says, withdrawing. ‘’Seungsoo said I wasn’t very old at that time. He raised me.’’

‘’Woh,’’ Baekhyun beams at him, ‘’so it’s always just been the two of you, ‘s that it?’’

Kyungsoo smiles, barely. ‘’There’s also Sonya and her parents. And Janeva, Nakoa and Fia. And Grete, and High Matriarch Teersa.’’

Baekhyun joins him. ‘’Aha. You know, sometimes, I speak to the merchants. They don’t know who I am, so they don’t mind me.’’ He draws forth something from his pocket, ‘’one of them, I think his name was Enjuk, gave me this. He came from the _tainted lands_ ,’’ he makes an exaggerated face for show,’’ - Meridian, the village of the sun.’’

In his hand, a tiny flower of metal has its petals unfolded in orange, silver and matte blue colors.

The figure’s warm and musty from Baekhyun’s grasp and smells of dirt. It’s dangerous and foreign, the Mothers would say.

Kyungsoo feels it up with his fingers, every crack and crevice, and tugs it to his chest without thinking.

‘’Pretty,’’ he says.

‘’Do you want it?’’ Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo blinks. ‘’Isn’t it yours?’’

‘’You can have it.’’

‘’But it’s-‘’

‘’Come _on_. I want you to have it. It matches the bracelet.’’

‘’Okay.’’

He turns his wrist to look at the leather.

It’s become worn around the edges from diligent use, and the flowers are often replaced by Baekhyun so that they never wither.

 

⋘

 

‘’Kyungsoo, is that you?’’ a voice calls.

Kyungsoo lurches from the porch, alert.

A woman laughs raucously but not unkindly, with a bundle of Ridgewood cocked on her hip where she appears from the clearing. ‘’Almost mistook you for Baekhyun sneakin’ around when he thinks I’m not lookin’.’’

‘’Baekhyun’s mother,’’ Kyungsoo greets politely and puts the spear down.

‘’Sangmi,’’ Sangmi corrects and joins him on the porch. She looks him up and down with much fervor, walking around him in a circle, clicking her tongue.

‘’You sure have grown,’’ she says, and Kyungsoo flusters on the spot as his chin’s jutted up with an examining finger, ‘’becomin’ a little Brave, aren’cha?’’

He’s met Sangmi whenever they’ve needed supplies from the shed while training, or when Baekhyun first introduced Kyungsoo to her on an informal impulse, though that was seasons ago.

Regardless, Kyungsoo’s never been alone in her presence. Nor has he sought out Baekhyun’s company on the very doorstep to his and Sangmi’s lodge, a peaceful and solitary place situated in the forest outside the large settlement of Mother’s Crown.

Sangmi throws the Ridgewood in front of the fire pit. Next to it, a turkey’s held upside down on string to dry, long since beheaded and its stomach emptied at the butcher station.

‘’What brings you here?’’ she asks, looking befuddled but just as pleased by Kyungsoo’s visit.

Kyungsoo promptly remembers himself and what he came for, tucking back Seungsoo’s words that’d played in his head as he stared at Sangmi’s left dimple that’s almost identical to Baekhyun’s.

He’s never talked one-on-one with an adult outcast, even if he’s met them along the way as Baekhyun’s put them into the picture, seeing it appears most outcasts do each other favors, thus forming a smaller community.

Sangmi’s special, however. She was the reason why Baekhyun was exiled before he was even born.

‘’Baekhyun and I found a litter two days ago. We’d see if we could find it again, maybe a warren this time. Do you know where he is?’’ Kyungsoo asks, keeping his gaze low and picking at the ornament tied to the handle of his spear.

‘’That boy. He didn’t tell me anythin’, but he was mumblin’ somethin’ ‘bout the creek this morning.’’

‘’I’ll go look by the-‘’

‘’You look tired,’’ Sangmi interferes then, gesturing an open palm toward the edge of the porch, ‘’come sit for a bit. I’ve got somethin’ good for you, if you’re hungry.’’

Kyungsoo hesitates.

There’s no denying Baekhyun or Baekhyun’s mother once they’ve got their mind set on something, however.

‘’Sit, boy,’’ she says, and suddenly, Kyungsoo finds himself sitting on the stairs of the porch, a blanket drawn over his lap and a delicious piece of bread covered in salt and fat in his hand.

He eats it quietly while Sangmi bustles; starting the fire pit and fixing a poncho with her sewing kit.

Truthfully, Kyungsoo hunches in on himself and feels the weariness seep into his bones in this unguarded moment.

Maybe it’s a mother’s instinct. He wouldn’t know.

Seungsoo’s been gone for more than two moons, ever since he went on an expedition to the trading borders.

Usually, an errand of the like never takes that long, though word has it that Oseram merchants have been denied access by Carja soldiers lately and that’s stopped the iron trading which Seungsoo is to check up on.

Which means maybe there’s trouble for real, this time.

And maybe, the Carja will open fire -

‘’Want mine too?’’ Sangmi offers another piece.

Kyungsoo doesn’t get to choose; it’s put into his hand, and when he doesn’t react fast enough, she stuffs it in his face for him too, so that he can hear his own jaw work as he chews through the chunks.

Sangmi then picks up the sewing kit and sits down with a sigh next to Kyungsoo, their elbows brushing.

‘’Did Baekhyun give you this?’’ she pokes her elbow at Kyungsoo’s wrist, the bracelet.

‘’Yes…’’ he answers, meek.

‘’Do you like it?’’ she asks and laughs at Kyungsoo’s quick and affirmative nods.

She hums, ‘’he sure does love making them, too.’’

She’s still young and has the edges of a gentle face, a grating voice from smoking pipe, knobby fingers from diligent use, wide hips and thighs from birth, solid palms and almond-shaped, sad eyes.

Compared to Baekhyun, there’s a different nature to her smile, though. More dignified, more genuine and with a warmth that knows of other smiles than its own. Kyungsoo can’t help but wish it had a bigger audience than just himself.

Caught staring, his hair’s ruffled and patted, and he leans into the touch, just a little.

‘’Take care of Baekhyun, will ya’?’’ she says - or rather, asks, just as Kyungsoo thinks she’s going to poke a hole in his own bubble of downpour. ‘’He’s always out lookin’ for somethin’.’’

‘’Do you know what he might be looking for?’’ Kyungsoo asks without thinking.

Sangmi laughs. ‘’Thought ya’ might be the one to know.’’

The bonfire’s getting lively, its flames licking at the air and the ridgewood crackling. They sit in silence.

‘’Baekhyun’s lucky,’’ Kyungsoo says, suddenly. ‘’Having a mother who looks out for him. People don’t ask stupid questions about his upbringing.’’

‘’You don’t have a mother, do ya?’’ Sangmi asks before Kyungsoo can take the words back.

Kyungsoo hesitates. Eventually, he shakes his head. ‘’Just my brother.’’

‘’Do they give you a hard time for it?’’

He stares at the last bite pinched between his fingers. ‘’Sometimes they’d call me names. Or they’d just… not. They’d just look at me. Always. Like I wasn’t… a part of them. It stopped when… when Seungsoo, my older brother, became a ranked Brave. He might become the next war-chief as it is.’’

‘’Where’s your brother now?’’

‘’… gone.’’

‘’Gone-gone?’’

‘’No, at the trading borders… but he’s been gone for long.’’

‘’So that’s how it is,’’ Sangmi smiles reassuringly, and for a moment, Kyungsoo feels it melt and reach his core.

‘’Do you have someone who can look out for you during these times?’’ she asks.

‘’Sonya and her parents. I live with them often, whenever Seungsoo’s away.’’

Sangmi gives a long stare, her dimpled smile gone.

Voice soft but serious, she says, ‘’if ya need anythin’, know that I’m here. Yeah?’’

Kyungsoo chews slowly, gaze veering to the ground.

He understands the warmth of Baekhyun’s hands now, the source of his steps and the fleeting strength behind his smile.

‘’Baekhyun’s mo-‘’ he corrects himself; ‘’- Sangmi. I promise I won’t let Baekhyun do anything stupid.’’

Sangmi smiles, and her dimple winks. ‘’That’s all I’d ask for.’’

 

⋘

  

‘’Seungsoo says your mom broke one of the laws,’’ Kyungsoo says, feet swinging from the trunk, the underside of his sheepskin boots barely touching the ripple of the stream.

Baekhyun, feet bare, ceases his trotting in the water, on the hunt for tiny fish.

‘’Because she killed my father?’’ he asks, casual, twirling the sharpened rod in his hand.

Kyungsoo’s face blanches. ‘’She told you?’’

‘’Long time ago, when she finally said we were outcasts by name, too. And don’t give me that look,’’ Baekhyun reprimands. ‘’He was a bad man anyway. They made a vow because my mom’s mom was in debt to my father’s mom. It’s not like they wanted to marry.’’

‘’Do you think your father was a bad man?’’

‘’All people are bad anyway,’’ Baekhyun cringes at one particularly sharp stone, ‘’to some degree. But he was scum at its finest.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Beat my mom while I was in her tummy.’’

He turns away from Kyungsoo and ponders. ‘’Maybe that’s why I came out this way.’’

‘’He **_beat_** her?’’ Kyungsoo nearly falls into the stream from leaning forward and one of the branches that he’s been using as leverage snapping.

He gets up on his knees and wobbles off the trunk and onto the grass. ‘’I don’t understand - if he- he would- he should’ve been the one exiled-‘’

‘’Well,’’ Baekhyun faces Kyungsoo again, and Kyungsoo averts his eyes in favor of not staring at Baekhyun’s glistening torso in the midday sun, ‘’not if she killed him first.’’

Some laws are more forgiving than others, but murder rarely finds a way between those. If only it’d been a permitted duel supervised by one of the Matriarchs.

‘’Why didn’t she just tell them the truth?’’ Kyungsoo asks, sitting on the grass, words muffled from his knees as he scrapes flakes of bark off the trunk.

A guarded shade crawls over Baekhyun’s face as his head blocks the sun, his pronouncing shoulders and their shadow looming over Kyungsoo from the angle.

‘’Is Seungsoo okay with us talking?’’ he interrupts.

Kyungsoo looks up in a whisk, startled by the sunlight, settling with looking through the cracks of his fingers and moving into Baekhyun’s shadow for cover.

‘’He didn’t like it at first, really…,’’ he admits, ‘’but he said it’s okay as long as we don’t get caught by anyone. Not like he’d be able to stop me, anyway.’’

Baekhyun’s supposed to smile, like he always does.

Instead, he says, ‘’before sundown, we need to gather supper for old Jun.’’

‘’Is he okay?’’

‘’He’s been forgetting a lot of things lately. Sometimes, we find him by the boulders, looking for his wife that died four winters ago. He’s hurting, too. His joints and muscles. We anoint him every night, but there’s only so much that can be done.’’

‘’Should I get him some dreamwillow?’’ Kyungsoo offers.

‘’Can you do that for me? I’d go get them myself, but the trip’s too much right now, the mountains too windy; last time I almost sprained my ankle from a fall down. He needs it soon.’’

‘’Don’t go anywhere. I’ll get it from Janeva’s stash. No one will know a thing, okay? But before that,’’ Kyungsoo stops in his tracks, ‘’Seungsoo taught me a new move today.’’

Baekhyun finally smiles at that. He gets on land, dries his feet on the grass and picks up his shirt to wipe his chest.

‘’Show me,’’ he says and throws the rod to the side.

‘’Put on your shirt first, you’ll catch a cold at this rate. And teach me about the Watchers. There’s a flock near the other creek.’’

Baekhyun’s fingers stray over the chip on his ear. ‘’I thought you hated the machines.’’

‘’I don’t. They’re just all you talk about, so it gets boring.’’

‘’Hey…’’ Baekhyun pouts. ‘’Run your mouth and you’ll get your ass kicked, you know.”

‘’Try me.’’

He asks for mercy five minutes later, mouth filled with dirt, his arm wrenched on his back and Kyungsoo’s laughter etched into his nape.

 

⋘

 

In the middle of the night, Baekhyun jerks awake into a vice grip, held down by a large shadow to shut him up.

‘’Shhh,’’ the man says to calm him, ‘’I’m Kyungsoo’s brother,’’ which has an immediate effect.

Sangmi’s still sleeping in the alcove next to Baekhyun, so they step outside carefully as not to wake her.

‘’I wanted to see you with my own eyes,’’ the man says, hushed. His voice is deep, and his presence looms even though he’s not tall.

Kyungsoo’s brother, Baekhyun thinks and halts. The man he’s heard so much about in the very flesh at the edge of their small lodge. What does he want from Baekhyun? Is he going to take Kyungsoo away from him?

Baekhyun quickly braces himself for the latter, taking a defensive stance.

‘’Kyungsoo’s mine,’’ he says quickly, and winces at the choice of words.

Even in the darkness, Baekhyun can see Seungsoo perk up at the sound of that.

‘’I mean-‘’

‘’Don’t worry,’’ he says, ‘’I’m not here to reprimand you. I was simply curious.’’

There might even be a smile on his lips, Baekhyun senses from the tone.

‘’Curious? About what?’’ Baekhyun asks, even if he’s young and should show his elder respect, all his nerves are still jostling from meeting the real deal.

‘’Kyungsoo’s secret friend. He’s mentioned you a couple of times, but since he’s stubborn, I only know bits. So, I had to see it for myself.’’

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say to that.

So, it’s Seungsoo who prompts a strangely light-hearted chat between them - ‘’do you live here?’’ he asks.

‘’With my mother,’’ Baekhyun gestures to the lodge where Sangmi’s sleeping.

It turns quiet between them.

‘’I wanted to thank you,’’ Seungsoo says, and directs for them to take a walk away from the lodge.

Baekhyun joins him, still wary, but relaxes slightly at the genuine and warm spark of Seungsoo’s voice, not to be expected from someone soon to be promoted to a general. It’s probably why he’s taken to contact Baekhyun during the night - as not to be seen talking with an outcast.

The night air is cold and seeps into one’s bones, and Baekhyun’s teeth shiver at the next breeze. He doesn’t pay much attention to the weather though, what with Seungsoo visiting.

‘’Thank me,’’ Baekhyun says, ‘’for what?’’

Seungsoo remains quiet for a while as they walk. In the horizon, the first and slow bits of the morning have started peeking through.

‘’For your company,’’ Seungsoo says. ‘’I might not know much about you, but the fact that he has you is enough.’’

Baekhyun’s mouth feels like cotton.

‘’Kyungsoo was ostracized as a kid,’’ Seungsoo explains, ‘’since he was a no-mother.’’

Baekhyun stops walking at that. ‘’What happened?’’ he asks. ‘’To your parents.’’

Seungsoo stops at a boulder and touches its surface with light fingertips, staring thoughtfully into the distance.

‘’Our father died while hunting in a clash with Belruk soldiers, and soon after our mother died during Kyungsoo’s childbirth. Our mother was the seeker, and our father the general. So, they weren’t home much to begin with.’’

Baekhyun draws his shawl further up his shoulders.

Seungsoo continues, ‘’their death settled a heavy aftermath, seeing as they were both beloved by the tribe. Kyungsoo resembles our mother’s features a lot. The silence she left was jarring - especially for Kyungsoo, who had to bear that weight.’’

‘’Wouldn’t they take extra care of him instead of shutting him out?’’ Baekhyun asks, confused.

‘’You’d think so,’’ Seungsoo says, ‘’the elders have taken good care of him. But others still remind him of who and where he came from and what was lost.’’

‘’That’s just- it wasn’t _his_ fault that-‘’

‘’I know.’’

The tip of the sun greets the sky, its rays shining on trunks and through bushes.

Seungsoo turns to Baekhyun with a solemn look in his eyes through the semi-darkness.

‘’Make sure you don’t leave him on his own when I can’t be there for him,’’ he says, voice quiet and serious, making a promise.

Baekhyun’s grip tightens around the shawl, shoulders squared and an air of importance in his stature as he meets it head-on.

‘’I won’t.’’

 

⋘

 

‘’Baekhyun, where are you headed?’’ Kyungsoo asks, following Baekhyun on the small road system.

Baekhyun throws a quick smile over his shoulder, ‘’just a little trip. I found a new cave the other day - it’s got more of those logs with people telling weird things.’’

Kyungsoo steps in front of him, stopping the motion. ‘’Do we have to do this every time?’’ he asks.

‘’Do what?’’ Baekhyun feigns innocence.

‘’I don’t want you there,’’ Kyungsoo says. ‘’In those caves all the time. You stick your nose in things that shouldn’t matter. It’s dangerous - it’s not a part of our world.’’

‘’I’m not going to do anything, don’t worry. Kyungsoo, you know me.’’

‘’That’s why I’m saying this - because I _know_ you.’’

‘’Like I said, don’t worry. I need to-’’ Baekhyun drags a hand over his face, growing tired of the discussion, ‘’it’s important to me.’’

Lately, he’s been venturing more often to several foreign places, and each time he stays out for longer than the last ever since the war two winters ago.

The war has taken its toll - and its victims.

Seungsoo and Sangmi’s shadows have left much for them to fill out.

‘’Baekhyun,’’ Kyungsoo’s eyes are different today. There’s an intensity behind them - a feral glint there.

‘’Okay,’’ he says, ‘’you can go. But promise me one thing.’’

They stand before each other, and Kyungsoo steps into Baekhyun’s private space until they’re almost chest to chest.

‘’Don’t go where I can’t follow,’’ he links their hands as to form a pact, and there’s a familiarity to his stance, looming with authority for a moment.

Baekhyun strengthens his grip, gulping.

‘’I won’t.’’

 

 ⋘

 

The afternoon throws its last light over the horizon, and Kyungsoo sits at the watchtower with his spear, sharpening it with a stone.

From the top of the ladder, a head pops up with a cheeky smile on it.

 _‘’Oh,’’_ comes his voice along with the sound of squeezing leather as he grabs his spear on impulse from the jump.

‘’Did I scare you?’’ Baekhyun asks, laughing loudly. Kyungsoo shushes him so that it won’t look like he’s slacking on the job.

‘’Maybe. What’re you plotting?’’ Kyungsoo asks, curious but just as much suspicious, ‘’you know I have watch today. We’re not supposed to talk.’’

‘’Nothing much. Just this.’’

‘’What’s that?’’

A shiny thing catches and reflects a ray of light in Baekhyun’s hand, gleaming in the sunshine.

‘’It’s Bluegleam.’’

‘’Bluegleam?’’ Kyungsoo repeats, examining the stone that he’s handed. It’s cold, like touching ice, except it’s not humid. ‘’What’s that?’’

‘’In fact, it’s frozen machine fluid that you can only get from Ban-Ur, but the merchants like to call it some sort of diamond. It’s one of the rarest ‘gems’ there is.’’

‘’I’ve never seen something like this,’’ Kyungsoo notes, holding it before himself and moving it to see a lightshow.

‘’Do you like it?’’ Baekhyun asks.

‘’I do,’’ Kyungsoo admits, letting it touch his cheek to feel the coldness. He also notices it smells neutral.

‘’You can have it.’’

‘’Really? Do you mean it?’’

‘’Of course.’’

They both laugh at the intimate bubble that’s fastened around their heads. Kyungsoo raises himself from his spot to kiss Baekhyun on the mouth. It’s an aunty peck, followed by one that lasts a little longer, followed by another that lasts even longer and so forth.

‘’Didn’t you just tell me we couldn’t talk on the job?’’ Baekhyun remarks between the kisses, smug.

‘’Ah,’’ Kyungsoo’s back straightens and he takes a look around to see if anyone’s watching them. Luckily, no one is.

‘’You know,’’ he says, rather thoughtful, ‘’I think you bring out both the best and worst in me.’’

‘’What do you mean by worst? I’m a saint,’’ Baekhyun says.

He points to the Bluegleam stone - ‘’also, keep it frozen. When summer returns, we need to put it somewhere safe, so it doesn’t melt.’’

‘’How’d you get it?’’ Kyungsoo asks.

‘’From a merchant.’’

‘’What’d he get in return during trading?’’

‘’Not telling,’’ Baekhyun sing-songs. ‘’But it was expensive.’’

‘’Baekhyun… I can’t keep accepting these things.’’

‘’Of course, you can. I like giving them to you.’’

‘’Really?’’

‘’Really.’’

Kyungsoo can’t help but smile. ‘’I’m fond of you,’’ he says.

‘’You better be!’’ Baekhyun kisses him, smacking lips and all.

 

⋙

 

Kyungsoo’s always been the generic Brave who does his deeds just so; what’s appropriate, what’s within range despite having lots of room to fill out in the shoes that his brother, Seungsoo, left.

A well-beloved member of the village, friendly but reserved and enduring, prone to morbid comments, and fond of collecting. Almost dutiful to a fault, taking care of the kids and the dull shifts of patrolling at the base.

The case is different for Baekhyun, who’s got a reputation for almost losing a limb every time he as much as goes fishing and hooks his hand; praised and respected as much as he’s scolded for always being first in line and taking duties others would consider deadly and miscellaneous upon his own shoulders - for a tribe he’s been observing from a distance half of his life, at that.

Joining lectures in hunting on a whim and cutting his cheek to impress the young lot with his wisdom and prowess - humoring them with his buoyant spirit too.

 _‘’Good luck with that one,’’_ Sonya had said to Kyungsoo, genuine concern in her voice, many summers ago the first time he and Baekhyun were assigned as night watch partners briefly after Baekhyun was accepted into the tribe.

Unknowing that Kyungsoo himself was the one who taught Baekhyun how to wield a bow as they both made a name and joined the other Braves at the Proving.

Unknowing that Kyungsoo joined him above the valley with High Matriarch Teersa in the back while Baekhyun shouted from the overlook at the sun rising beyond the mountainside.

As Nora of the tribe, they have little history - only a partnership that bloomed with age during expeditions.

Outside the village though, there are matters unrelated to duty, social identity, approval or lack thereof.

Because outside one’s interwoven responsibilities to the tribe and one’s pride as a warrior, on a field hidden from the community, Kyungsoo - on the territory of none, gets an impulse.

When it’s pointless to the naked eye and to status, but runs a fleeting connection, the means of communication and a desperate plea beneath; built upon a ground that’d been long since settled.

Despite Kyungsoo rarely initiating intimacy outside of their sleeping bunker, he turns Baekhyun’s head and kisses him on the lips and exhales against his mouth.

Having his abilities amassed in his aim wielding ranged weapons, Baekhyun’s never been a match in comparison to Kyungsoo when it comes to hand to hand combat despite their similar stature.

Not that Baekhyun does much to resist in the first place, what with not reacting in time to Kyungsoo’s touches when they sat down before the second Sawtooth appeared, despite sensing thunder was on the way.

Like a voyeur that likes getting caught; like a fish searching for light in the dark.

There’s no mistaking the muscle holding him close - the calloused hand grabbing his jaw, fingers with strength matching the claw of a Glinthawk, controls him and his fate.

It’s when there’s a dull snap and the taste of withered daisies from Kyungsoo breaking his bracelet for Baekhyun to chew and silence himself on, that Baekhyun finally _understands_.

That’s why Kyungsoo’s been so intense, staring at Baekhyun for a prolonged time across the bonfire at supper both tonight, yesterday and the day before that.

The tension in his shoulders, the buildup of him ignoring Baekhyun during the daytime but keeping an eye on him from afar and holding onto him tightly at night.

The bandit camp at Gateland that they infiltrated months ago, with an already injured Baekhyun from a prior incident tagging along.

Minseon, the war-chief, advised against his participation since the thugs were known brawlers, the vicious kind with torturous, ritualistic executions.

The blank look in Kyungsoo’s eyes from across the field where the remains of fire licked away at burnt corpses, jagged wood and metal.

When the clash of the fight was over, and Baekhyun was carried to one of the medics, the one that was left, since Janeva had been penetrated by a spear through her left shoulder and had bled out at the back of the fort.

As it smelled of excrements, smoke and innards –

And the sky was torn; it started raining, it cleansed the air so that a fragrance of herbs and earth took over instead.

The drops that fell on Baekhyun’s face, blurring his vision but cooling the gash over his left eyebrow. He was clutching at his ribs, still awake from adrenaline, afraid that the bones would turn inward anytime, crush his lungs and his heart.

For the second time in his upbringing, he feared what would come after life.

In the form of Kyungsoo hovering above him, his cheeks covered in soot, mouth quivering and eyes wider than they’d ever been before, such a terrified look on a grown man.

Like that of a scared child that’d had its first look at mortality and its lessons over again.

Mirroring Baekhyun himself back when he saw his mom’s stiff eyes and purpling skin, just the two of them; her hand clutched Baekhyun’s, trying not to let go, knowing what she’d leave behind.

In a moment where life was bigger and smaller than pride, where above all, Baekhyun was tied to the human in front of him. The ache was dedicated to them and the thought of this loss and a world without them.

Where the burden of life gave itself an indispensable value above its apathy.

Baekhyun passed out with a voice playing in the remnants of his consciousness, words he couldn’t decipher then but that come back clear now, burning his temples.

What Kyungsoo yelled the evening before the raid in a futile attempt to make Baekhyun retreat,

_‘’Don’t you dare throw your life away like it means nothing.’’_

_‘’ – your life is mine too, Baekhyun. You hear me?’’_

 

It’s been boiling ever since.

Baekhyun’s sure he’s known somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s just stuck around.

For the culmination of their core, of strings that might never unravel.

To be taught a lesson, a harness to his heedlessness, because otherwise he’ll do it again.

They both know he will.

Because it’s been too long since Kyungsoo’s last gotten into this sort of frenzy, a need to pull the reins.

Because it’s been too long since Baekhyun’s last volunteered to put his head on a stick so blatantly, the desire for and the cathartic risk of an end.

A concealed kind of detachment often mistaken for being the opposite, the spirit of a true and honorable warrior, and easily drowned in his rancorous voice and contagious smile during the day.

 

Baekhyun’s throbbing between his legs from the hand on his dick, pumping him even if it’s dry and hurts as much as it feels good. Kyungsoo’s snuck his hand under his belt and quilt, feeling him up, removing his hand temporarily to spit on for lubrication.

Baekhyun’s temples pulse along, and he freezes on the spot as the low, vibrating, metallic noise of a purr resounds close to them, the cracking of tiles and the splashing of the morass as the machine ventures ahead.

Even so, Kyungsoo continues, his breath hot on the side of Baekhyun’s neck as he thumbs the cockhead and gives it a warm, fond and steady squeeze.

Baekhyun’s drooling down to his chin, trying to busy his mouth with the leather as he lets himself be taken. The electronic noises close in for a moment, and he holds his breath - he can feel Kyungsoo do the same, as the Sawtooth examines the area before continuing its path.

It’s a lucky thing the swamp stands in the way for the humans to get close. They follow its outline but don’t go nowhere close to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo as the second Sawtooth does.

Still, the Sawtooth doesn’t seem satisfied and stays in the area. Baekhyun’s legs twist and he whimpers, ‘’Soo,’’ as the only thing he can do at the moment. The hand on his jaw tightens, keeping him in place, and fat tears start cascading down the back of it.

Regardless, it’s Baekhyun who stays in place, who shakes from the tremor of a sob but moves his hips into the next touch. He sees the moonlight in a distinctive pattern from his tears blurring his vision, senses overloaded, overwhelmed, and warm and wet fingers close around his cock.

His hands fists themselves in Kyungsoo’s tunic, his body frigid with tension but his stomach’s churning with arousal, and his consciousness gets sucked in by Kyungsoo’s predatory, yet comforting, watchful and intense hands.

Their clothed chests and unlucky angles and weapons graze with bumps; it’ll give blue marks tomorrow for sure. Baekhyun’s having both cold and warm sweat at once, over-heating and freezing, holding back from sniffling, his nose runny and throat closing, tasting bile in the back of his mouth but smelling Kyungsoo’s musk and breath, and the tall grass around them.

Meanwhile, the Sawtooth resides only ten feet away from them, its mechanic breath steaming in its chest and its blue sensor light flashing marks over their heads as it scans the area.

There’s a moment where Baekhyun doesn’t know if the Sawtooth’s left or it’s listening to them, about to prowl –

And his heart’s hammering so fast, he’s been holding his breath since forever and then –

The Sawtooth finally makes a dry sound, a snort of a sort, and continues in the opposite direction, thumping away with its massive paws.

So Baekhyun gurgles, he’s clinging to Kyungsoo with his arms behind his back; he chokes, and his nostrils quiver and his eyes scrunch up and he cries for real, warbling ‘’Soo,’’ - **_‘’Kyungsoo,’’_ ** like his life depends on the name, on the guy behind him –

And Kyungsoo speeds the pace for the last spur, only stops when Baekhyun’s cramping and it’s over.

He removes the wrap completely and turns Baekhyun’s head to kiss him wet on the lips, prying his mouth open and letting their tongues meet, tasting sea salt, withdrawing with a slick sound to say, voice so soft and gentle, ‘’you did good, Baekhyun,’’ completely out of breath.  

‘’I’m proud of you - we’re fine, nothing happened. You’re alive, it’s okay,’’ and he strokes the tears away with his thumbs and continues giving Baekhyun gentle pecks and keeps murmuring sweet nonsense until Baekhyun’s breath has calmed down and he’s done blowing snot bubbles –

And Baekhyun’s both angry and scared but also immensely satisfied and whole at the same time; and he does what he always does.

He soaks the words up like a sponge and turns his torso to nuzzle his face into Kyungsoo’s chest and the fur and necklaces there.

‘’You’re - you’re the worst,’’ he hiccups while Kyungsoo strokes the back of his head lovingly and says ‘’mmmh.’’

Maybe there’s something to it, Baekhyun thinks.

Because every time, his heart grows a size, because every time, another part of Kyungsoo is allowed inside; slips inside, forces inside, drags inside, urges inside - streams through his veins and monitors his body, the grasp of his hands getting tighter, the need to have exactly this person this close, the ease of exposing himself when he’s this vulnerable grows –

And Kyungsoo, on the other hand, plays the dangerous game of eating off the fear of losing Baekhyun, here with the change that it’s in his own control.

The Sawtooths and humans are gone, and left are they at the swamp, the bugs getting lively and a breeze going through the grass swaying and playing tricks on one’s eyes in the darkness.

They gather themselves slowly, checking the area carefully and making sure that the Sawtooths are gone for real.

Together, they walk towards their own camp where they came from, both on high alert seeing as there could be more cultists around the next corner.

 

Before the end of Devil’s Grief, Kyungsoo catches Baekhyun by the arm though.

He presses his thumb to Baekhyun’s wrist and keeps it there, as if trying to memorize the pulse beneath - as if trying to control and master its flow.

‘’If you’re going to die,’’ he says, gaze going up to Baekhyun’s face, voice stoic but eyes, even with only a glimpse of the moonlight through the crowns of the trees giving away their presence, speaking volumes –

‘’Then let it be by my hands.’’

Baekhyun makes a clenched noise in the back of his throat, punctured by a weight pressing his ribs against his lungs, a familiar ache, albeit ghostly. The skin under his eyes is swollen, face still heavy.

‘’I promise,’’ he swears.

His hand grabs the back of Kyungsoo’s wrist so that they’re intertwined.

The gesture for making an oath.

They look into each other’s eyes –

And Kyungsoo’s face scrunches with what could be seen as a sneer, as a hollow, though soft and vulnerable hitch grows from his chest, and he lowers his head.

Their hands get wet.

 

**Author's Note:**

> so, the concept of this fic was to draw a picture of an apathetic baekhyun who doesn't fear dying because he's indifferent to his own life and for that reason seeks life threatening rushes to feel alive. this clashes with kyungsoo, who has abandonment issues and wants baekhyun to stay alive. kyungsoo teaches baekhyun to fear his own life by putting the both of them in danger, seeing as the only way baekhyun fears losing his life is through fearing for kyungsoo's wellbeing.
> 
> i hope it made at least a little bit of sense. thank you for going on this adventure with me. be safe.


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